What do you want in life?

Good afternoon.

So surprisingly I have decided to come back here to just do some typing and to let my fingers do the thinking. Right now, it is cold and freezing. Temperature is 15 degrees at the moment. I don't agree with it. Feels super cold and my fingers are numb.  I can barely feel that I am touching the keys so I'm actually typing harder than I normally do. It's funny how other people who live in colder countries think this Brisbane winter weather isn't cold. and that's because they live in countries that snow and live in weather temperatures reaching into the negatives. Can't imagine what I would be like if I lived there. I do want to see snow though. I think it's one of natures gifts to us in a form of a smooth ice texture. 

My fingers are really doing the thinking right now as I had no intention to blog so soon... like 2 weeks after my last blog post. I am procrastinating and that's what everyone does.

The teaching semester is to end in about a week and I am so glad that it will come to an end very soon, for this semester at least. I don't seem to be enjoying what I am doing and many of you may have heard me going on and on about my dissatisfaction of my studies. And a few of you may have suggested me alternatives which I am thankful for receiving but I guess it all comes down to me.
But for now, rather than repeating myself to you about my dissatisfaction, I shall look ahead. Look at what my winter semester break be filled with. I have no idea. I have all these activities and events I want to go to or organise but it feels like I dont have the capability of doing it. So hesitant and somewhat indecisive. 
I actually thought I have grown out of this personality of being indecisive but more recently, it has returned to haunt me. Maybe it's existence is telling me that what I might be doing in my daily life is incorrect or that there are other greater opportunities out there for me.

I have all these great ambitions to become a mini photographer. I haven't actually gave it much thought as I have with all the downsides to my life. Maybe that's why I feel indecisive. So I guess it has always been a word of advice for those mature people out there to 'follow your dreams'. I think it has become apparent to me that these sayings are so true. But I dont know where to start to actually 'follow my dreams'. So many things are holding me back from personal studies to family to personal acquaintances with other people. 

Currently, it honestly feels like I am this notepad waiting to be written all over by a pen, the controller. It feels like I'm being controlled and god, things don't get any better. They have over the past year but I guess 2013 is pretty much figuring out what I really want to make life out of. I dont want to pursue anything major or enormous but just something that can satisfy my life. 

I guess this post has barely scratched the surface of many things that are a bother/worry or even joyful but it i guess the message is just to figure what you want.....

What do you want in life?

#gladtohavepostedthis

Demotivation #1

All things happen for a reason. Really. It does. How things are timed so perfectly can cause devastation or astonishment. Not one can control the timing of events (this is not a religious post but a general food of thought, ignoring all other spiritual and godly and miraculous persons).That's when predictions and assumptions come into place. But I know for fact "fck everything and keep moving on".
KTHXBAI

#postcompletedjustlikethatcauseimlazy

End of  "demotivationing"